"We must all make the choice between what is right and what is easy"
"Hello! I am a white lady and I recently started dating a really wonderful, intelligent, and kind mixed-race lady. I like her SO much but I’ve noticed that I have no idea how to talk about race/feel a little guarded around her because I’m so worried I’ll say something offensive without realizing it. How can I be the best possible ally to her and learn to just fully be myself in this new relationship?"
Firstly, your primary goal is on point. You definitely want to be yourself in any interracial relationship, platonic or not. I can’t even begin to tell you how irksome it is when a white person tries too hard to relate. The human experience is enough to create connections and there’s never any need to erase identities, even your own.
Also, as a white person, the best thing you can do in conversations about race is to listen more than you talk. People of color are silenced too much in their every day lives. Avoid talking over your partner at all cost. That’s not to say that you should never speak on anything racial ever. You have to open yourself up to the possibility of being wrong. Let your partner know that she can check you if you ever say anything offensive. That’s the only way you’ll be able to learn and grow from it. I have several white friends who have said subtly racist comments and I’ve checked them on it. And the reason we are still friends is because they took a second, reflected, let me explain why what they said was wrong, apologized, and never made the same mistake again.
I think if anyone understands how a group of people can become poisoned with a hateful mindset, it’s people of color. We’ve watched our families and communities succumb to the racist ideas of the white worldview until the point where we see our people hate themselves. I personally, as a queer woman of color, had a lot of obstacles to overcome before I could begin to understand how power works in this world. You have obstacles too. The only difference is that you benefit from the power structure that you must learn to understand.
That brings me to my last point. You must read read read. You can’t rely on your partner to teach you because it’s very likely that any racial knowledge that she possesses wasn’t handed to her. There are plenty of resources on the internet, in libraries, and in films that can help you gain enough information to not be so nervous during discussions about race.
Don’t forget! Through Sept. 8th, every single pre-order for This is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids will be matched by our publisher, Chronicle Books, with a donated book to a local PFLAG Chapter!!!!
Not sure if we’re allowed to do this, but fuck it. Here’s a recipe leaked straight from our new book for some Roasted Sriracha Cauliflower Bites. If you haven’t preordered the book yet, pull your shit together and get to it. If you have preordered the book already, take the rest of today off because clearly you’re ahead of the fucking game.
Korrasami selfie.. at the beach.
Wee bit of fanservice! I’ve never been good at drawing asami well ( 4gifh me pls OTZ ) oh well atleast korra looks good :’D amaright?
Pencil sketch from my sketchbook + quick photoshop of colors..
Also I hit 311 followers. Yey ! little milestones. thanks a bunch, it means so much to me. (srsly ;_; )
Goodnight ! ( its 2am actually fml )Edit - 800+ notes? O.o what.
|—||I disagree with you but ill let you have this one because I don’t feel like debating anymore with your simple ass (via beoneul)|
Slurs are not oppressive because they are offensive, they are oppressive because slurs by nature of being slurs draw upon certain power dynamics to remind their target of his/her/their vulnerability in a certain relation to power and as an extension of that, to threaten violence and exploitation of that vulnerability.
every year the marauders probably sat in the same spot on the hogwarts express, from when they were little bitty eleven-year-olds to the last time they rode away from the place where they found home and family, practicing silly spells and trading chocolate frog cards and planning the year’s pranks or the summer’s gatherings
and when remus rode to hogwarts to teach, he probably sat in that same spot and thought that the silence was louder than four teenage boys ever were.